The razor’s edge of forgiveness

“Forgive your enemies. “

Since forgiveness was just as unnatural 2100 years ago as it is now, the Apostle Peter seeks to bind it. You will recall that Peter was a pious Jew and knew the Mosaic law. The law from Leviticus, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and in both Deuteronomy and Exodus denounced the hatred of fellow countrymen “in your heart,” and commanded the loving of “even the stranger.”

And yet, Peter asked, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” According to the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus explains further, lest there be any mitigation of His command to love even -perhaps especially- our enemies. He spells out the awful consequences of hatred, bitterness, refusal to endure all things.

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt…

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

The Gospel of Matthew

It is a razor’s edge, isn’t it?

Because surely there are people whose actions warrant punishment, right?

Serial killers?

Pedophiles?

Abortionists?

The people who managed to overlook the coarse, arrogant, boorish behavior of President Trump and voted for him again?

Bringing it closer to home, the neighbor who borrowed my brand new truck and scratched the heck out of it?

The ‘best friend’ who seduced my husband?

The doctor whose mistaken diagnosis caused the death of my only son?

The uncle who raped me when I was four?

The list is long; in fact, it is never-ending. Our innate response is a yearning for vengeance…justice, when faced with patent evil- evoking the razor’s edge of forgiveness. But Jesus instructs us to forgive “from the heart.”

What does that mean?

Remember the beautiful and brilliant film, The Shack?

Strangely, for me, the film clarified several aspects of this magnificent story of unbearable pain, guilt, loss, and redemption. Until I saw the movie, I had not considered the significance of the title or why the wounded father was brought to a shack.

Mack: Why did you bring me back here?
Papa: Because here is where you got stuck.

The Shack: Valuable Lessons About Opinion

A talk on forgiveness,

Shortly after my conversion, I was invited to do a talk for a women’s conference on forgiveness. One of those flattering invitations we agree to. Until the date approaches and then the meltdown..

“I have an hour talk to do this coming Saturday! Holy ###%%%&&&!!!” 

Panic- pure and unadulterated.

What could I say to a few hundred Catholic women?

Women who had been Catholic far longer than my meager two years?

And who seemed far holier than I would ever be?

But my husband’s Christian talk radio came to the rescue when I heard a story. Borrowing his car for an errand less than a week before the conference, I listened to the radio show he had programmed. In that providential mercy of God the subject of that show was forgiveness.

An 1829 court case functions as an allegory for us who are incapable of forgiveness. After refusing President Andrew Jackson’s pardon, Wilson’s case was appealed to the Supreme Court. Wilson claimed that he committed the crime and therefore he deserved to die.

Eureka!, I thought, this is what I’ll discuss…excited, psyched. This is precisely what happens between humanity and God; no one can miss the parallels.

However, I was the last speaker of the day. Listening to the five other speakers, my self-confidence evaporated. None of their talks was even remotely related to my subject matter.

How could I have misunderstood this topic so completely?

The speaker right before me is a well-known Catholic writer and activist. Her topics were gender inequality, the economics of women in the workplace, and verbal and sexual abuse of women by men. Forgiveness wasn’t mentioned. Without looking at me, my friend Kate reached over to squeeze my hand, hard. By the time I stood to walk to the lectern, my knees were shaking, literally.

In my former career, I’d done countless talks before large audiences. Therefore, I knew my fear would pass. I had worked hard on this talk, had prayed hard, and believed the points I was making were useful—Chief Justice John Marshall’s words couldn’t fail to pierce all hearts.

“The court cannot give the prisoner the benefit of the pardon, unless he claims the benefit of it…. It is a grant to him: it is his property, and he may accept it or not as he pleases.
A pardon is an act of grace, proceeding from the power entrusted with the execution of the laws….
(But) delivery is not completed without acceptance. It may then be rejected by the person to whom it is tendered, and…we have no power in a court to force it.”

Chief Justice John Marshall

Suddenly, it was over. The applause was sustained, and a line of women waited to speak to me about what I’d said. It was a very long line. 

But there was one woman near the end of the line who flattened me. The woman smiled broadly at me. Then she said,

“I stood here in line to wait to talk with you because I thought you should know four angels were standing behind you during your entire talk.”